Burnin' Ring of Fire

The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

Maybe the sky isn't falling but the Icelandic Króna (ISK) certainly is! Whhhheeeeeeeee! The last I checked today $1 USD bought 100 ISK, which is phenomenal. The first time I visited Iceland three years ago we were getting a measly 60 or 65 ISK to the dollar. Of course, 100 ISK buys almost nothing in Iceland except for maybe a can of peas. Most of the time, I check the exchange rate in more realistic terms such as "What is 1000 ISK worth today?". Currently that comes out to $10, which will in fact buy you a quality pint of beer (e.g. Leffe) in Reykjavík.

OK so maybe this isn't a celebration for most people living here, but it certainly is for a poor sap (me) who's living off income in form of the US Dollar (USD). And certainly there are swathes of other international students at HÍ who are pretty damned excited as well. Perhaps now we can afford something. Like a beer...kannski?

I promise I'll try to dial down my excitement over the depreciating ISK. Check on me later after discovering that only shit remains of my E-Trade IRA...

My short-lived excitement is actually tempered by rage caused by the stupidity of governments, banks, and investors over letting the financial crisis escalate to this point. And then having the balls to ask the peasants for bail money. Nice. Here's the deal. You erase my student loan and maybe I'll think about giving you some money.

Let's not forget about the dumbasses who bought mini-mansions on 100% ARM loans or exaggerated their incomes on mortgage applications. They share in the blame. You make $60,000, have 5 kids, and want to buy that house for $850,000? Awesome, go for it! Let me know how it's going for you after those interest rates re-adjust....whoops you forgot to read the papers? Shucks!

America isn't the only place where shit is hitting the fan. There was plenty of shit flying in Iceland today as a matter of fact. And Iceland is a terribly windy place, so shit flies hard and fast -- almost like a hurricane. A hurricane of shit. Glitnir, one of Iceland's largest banks, crashed today and is now 75% owned by the state. And at a bargain price of $686 million! Government intervention? [gasp!] Why, that's a capitalist's (or Republican's) worst nightmare!

At least the Icelandic government bought shares of the company, thereby nationalizing the bank. Iceland OWNS the bank. On the other hand, the US government is closer every day to just handing over $700+ billion of taxpayer money to the idiots and telling them, "Don't worry we won't mess in your business". I believe this is the message that VP Candidate/Epic Idiot Sarah Palin was trying to convey in her blundered interview with Katie Couric. (I certainly hope Tiny Fey doesn't have to play that character for four long years on SNL...)

It is the government's job to protect its citizens from terrorists, whether those terrorists are flying airplanes into buildings or creatively manipulating billions of investments in their favor to the detriment of the common citizen. Why spend $12 billion a month fighting "terrorists" in Iraq when the people doing us the most damage are American CEOs? Fascinating stuff, people!

Anyway, my ranting aside, I'm pleased to announce that I got my absentee ballot in the mail today and I plan on using it wisely....

Nothing

I was struggling yesterday with a writing assignment for Íslenskt Mál (my Icelandic language & reading class). It was not the grammar that was tripping me up surprisingly enough. I had actually started the paper far in advance of the due date because [SURPRISE] I actually like writing assignments. As much as the grammar rules suck in Icelandic, it is a really good exercise to actually apply them in writing. Besides, I have Rikki, my very own spell-check and grammar guide. And the professor's assignment was to "write about yourself" so hard can that be?

I drafted three or four perfectly fine paragraphs about where I'm from, why I came here (very relevent question for a foreigner in Iceland!), what I do for work, and the depressing suburb in which I'm currently domiciled. And then I was STUMPED.

What do I enjoy? What are my hobbies? What are my interests?

You see this in personal dating ads or advertisements for pen pals: "I like knitting, reading, church, baking, cross-country skiing, yada yada yada...." Hobbies and interests are a good indication of a person's personality type. So what if I don't have any interests? Am I emotionally dead? I think I used to know the answer to the "interests" question but years of living like a robot have me questioning what I actually like to do in my free time? Assuming there is any free time to enjoy.

So it dawned on me at 8:30 this morning as I was sitting in Kaffitár, as I was doing nothing, that I actually enjoy doing....nothing. My computer was open in front of me with all the good intentions of doing some work for my consultancy or perhaps some Icelandic homework. Didn't happen. I preferred instead to stare off into space, sometimes doing some mild people-watching. Observing tourists, common Icelandic folk, and fashion victims alike (like the woman in the red tartan skinny jeans....yeah). I did feel guilty for "not using my time efficently" but that's the corporate robot/Midwesterner inside me speaking.

I am post-hypnotized Peter from Office Space. That's who I am. I enjoy doing nothing. And I equally enjoy blogging about nothing. And sleeping. I fucking love sleeping!

As for my paper? I'll just lie and make up some shit about liking skiing, reading, and blah blah blah...

Icelandic Grammar: Makes a trip to the dentist seem almost pleasent by comparison

I have now successfully (or not) completed Week 2 of Icelandic Málfræði 1 (Grammar) and I'm in total disbelief with the grammar rules thus far. Je pense que française était tellement plus facile! Of course, I have new appreciation for the English language. Given the examples below it's not hard to see why...

NOUNS: Did you know that there are 16 different ways to write out any given noun? Yes that's right. As far as I can tell (since I'm only going on week 3!), there are 16 declensions for a noun based on:

• Article (Definite (i.e. "The") or Indefinite)
  
• 4 Cases (Nominative, Accusative, Dative, & Genitive)
• and Numerals (Singular or Plural)

Sixteen ways!!! So when learning a new noun, you're supposed to memorize the gender (thankfully there are some patterns with Gender). And then the Verb (or Preposition) used in your phrase determines the Case, which in turn determines the ending of the Noun. And if it's Plural or if you're saying something about "the-something" then that also has different endings. You are, of course, also expected to memorize which ending is used and when. This is also true for a pronoun that takes the place of an Object (i.e. "I drove the car", "I drove it"~)

EXAMPLE:
BíLL (CAR) (In order of Nom. Acc. Dat. Gen.)
Singular bíll bíl bíl bíls
Singular definite bíllinn bílinn bílnum bílsins
Plural bílar bíla bílum bíla
Plural definite bílarnir bílana bílunum bílanna

ADJECTIVES: These are just as complicated. Adjectives depend on: (1) Gender of Noun, (2) Numeral of Noun, and (3) Case given to Object (Noun) by the Verb. And of course, one is expected to memorize the different endings of all instances, including for irregular words. Also, when using a number to describe how many of an Object, then of course the written number declines in much the same ways.

But there's also the Positive, Comparative, and Superlative (i.e. "good, better, best~") to contend with for Adjectives. I have yet to see what those endings look like and if the Comparative and Superlative forms also change with Gender, Case & Numeral...

Anybody need a drink yet?

VERBS: We haven't covered these much in class yet, but of course one needs to memorize the Case of the Verb and how it's conjugated for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd person Singular and Plural. And then how it changes for the Past, Future, Passive Voice, etc.

Good stuff!

IN SUMMARY: It is my theory that the complexity of the Icelandic language is responsible for the un-talkative nature of Icelanders (unless they're drunk). They're not rude or shy, they just have too many grammar rules floating in their heads. Also, I'm sure that's why many Icelanders excel in mathematic-related fields such as IT, Engineering, Economics, & Finance. Because this language has so many formulas, rules, & exceptions, algorithms and theorums must seem not so difficult by comparison.

Bloody hell, are we having a hurricane?

60 mph wind gusts are distracting me from reading my exciting málfræði (grammar) book tonight. Every so often, I hear a loud CLUNK from outside....which is probably some item from somebody's patio blowing away. Earlier today I made a brave excursion (on foot!) to the local post office and experienced Iceland's infamous horizontal-rainfall. Not fun. As I was walking home in my flimsy Columbia "water resistant" windbreaker, I actually had to lean sideways into the wind so I could walk properly. I'm sure it all looked amusing to the warm, dry people in their cars.

Are we getting the leftovers from Hurricane Ike? Probably not. I have a feeling that this is going to be the norm for the next 8 or 9 months. It's just Iceland.

UPDATE Sept 17, 2008: Yep, that was definitively the remnants of Hurricane Ike. (see "Iceland Review")

How do you like Iceland(ic)?

Along with new classes and meeting other foreign students at Háskóli Íslands comes the question "How do you like Iceland?".

It's a question usually reserved for weathered natives to ask of astonished foreigners (usually with a hint of sarcasm and a sly grin). I believe it's some sort of ironic reference to the weather...or the outrageous cost of food and other imported goods. Like when a tourist rushes into a shop and inadvertently purchases a shitty rain parka for $30 (which would cost $5 in US) to deal with the hurricane-like weather (in summer no less) and the clerk asks "How do you like Iceland?". Irony, folks. Ironic like a Coen brothers' film.

The burning question in the "íslenka fyrir erlenda stúdenta" program is "How do you like Icelandic?".

Some people are here, like myself, because they are "imports" or "viking wives" (i.e. partner of an Icelander). Those people have varying reactions to Icelandic. A fellow "viking wife" I met today in class whispered to me "I hate this language!". I could empathize. Although she already speaks 4 languages fluently so something tells me she'll catch on to Icelandic just fine. I should have such luck. Others just stoically accept the fact that they're here and they need to make an effort to learn and be part of the society.

And then there are other students in the class who, for whatever random reason, are just interested in Icelandic. Many of these students are focused on Scandinavian or Germanic Linguistics or Literature programs back in their home universities. Some are learning Icelandic on the side while they study in other disciplines such as Environmental Science, or EU Law. Nonetheless I often question the sanity of these students, but then I admire them for going boldly where other people dare not go. And I'm sure that a minority of people are just here because they heard the rumors about the beautiful Icelanders and want to get laid. (I don't really see anything wrong with that.)

I, myself, am not sure how to answer this question. Since I'm here indefinitely I'm sort of forced to learn the language sooner or later. So I can't say that I'm a fan of the grammar rules or some of the impossible phonetic sounds. And only 300,000~ people in the world speak this language so it seems strange to me to be putting so much time and effort into learning an obscure language. I sometimes feel like I'm going to school to learn Klingon or Elvish. And HELLO I'm pushing 30! I'm in classes with people born in the late 1980's!!! But to be able to write my Facebook status updates in a language that only SOME of my friends understand? That's PRICELESS.

Scattered thoughts about my ADD, updates on "DIY University", and other musings about college life

I've tried in vain to work on some homework for 2 hours now but have found myself instead distracted by the the following (and somewhat irrelevant) things:

• snarls in my hair that needed intense de-tangling due to hurricane-force winds in Iceland
• checking my work Outlook email
• worrying about filing my estimated taxes to IRS
  
• some office drawers to rearrange & restock
• needing a stapler....for something (I forget now)
• miscellaneous shiny things
  
• dinner (ginger-lime chicken & roasted potatoes w/ Satay sauce...yum!)
• cleaning up from dinner
• my new Glitnir debit card with a scary, goth photo of myself!
  
• arranging and randomly perusing my new textbooks, which cost me $205 USD
  
• a problematic blemish on my face
• an Icelandic news program that I can't yet comprehend

The last bullet point would probably be helped if I could control my randomness and focus on studying. But no. Facebook and Blogger call out to me! And don't I have laundry to fold? This is why I'm not a PhD student or an over-achieving young executive with a Bling Bling salary. But I am still a nerd dammit.

Speaking of nerds, I've been accepted into the B.A. program for "Íslenska fyrir erlenda stúdenta" or "Icelandic for foreign students". I am one of about 60+ proud nerds in the program. I was only planning on taking a less intense program called "Practical Icelandic for Foreigner" but I felt like abusing myself with more homework and painful phonetics lessons in the Language Lab. Actually, I'm shocked that I passed the admission exam on Sept. 2nd. 50 multiple choice questions all in Icelandic....Good times! Skemmtilegur!

And the good times keep coming at Háskóli Íslands (aka D.I.Y. University)! Monday, September 1st kicked off the weeklong festivities of "Student Days". On that first day, in the auditorium at Háskólabío (student theater complex), I learned that there were several other confused foreign students so I felt good that I wasn't alone in my harrowing ordeal to find information about my courses, bus pass, student card, etc. Actually, a lot of these kids had it worse than me because they had just arrived on student visas conveniently the same week as when Iceland's National Registry just rolled out a new computer system -- thereby delaying ID numbers for many of them for weeks. (ID number or "kennitala" is needed to register for courses and gain access to the online "Ugla" or personal course management site at HÍ. Actually, the "kennitala" is needed for most everything here!) And then I found out that exchange students don't get free Reykjavik "stræto" bus passes this year (those cost 30,500 ISK for 9 months ~ = $350 USD). But I'm not an exchange student...I live here as a Viking Wife! Woohoo! So.... where's my bus pass?

That is the burning question this week....among other lingering questions. Where's my bus pass? When can I pick up my student card? Why are the courses still wrong in my Ugla? Why does the Icelandic language have so many fucking declensions? I may never know the answer to that last question, but I hope the others are sorted out this week. Stay tuned to my "Saga of Unanswered Questions!"

P.S. I need to give a shout-out to Liv (pronounced "Leev"), my new Minnesota/Danish friend and fellow nerd from "Malfræði 1" (Icelandic Grammar). I was elated to find out that she is one of the 5 readers of this blog! Let's see if I can get 10 readers by year's end! And then some ad-revenue....mmm$$$$

No Krispy Kreme here...so the cops are doing what?

Sometimes I think of the damnedest things. It's always fun to let the mind wander while driving among the gray landscape of depressing suburbs.

Anyway, on the way to school this morning I wondered out loud, "I wonder if cops in Iceland hang out and eat kleinur instead of donuts?" Rikki didn't really have an answer for that. He said that it's doubtful. So then I asked if they stop and bullshit with each other over pylsa. He also didn't have an answer for that. Two hours later, I'm still bothered by the thought of not knowing how the Lögreglan kill time here. (I mean there isn't really enough crime in the burbs to keep them THAT busy.) But Icelandic cops aren't nearly as fat as American cops - so maybe Rikki is right and they just sit in their cars and abstain from snacking.

I hate not knowing.