The McCrisis of 2009

At a time when McDonald's is enjoying record profits in the US due to the recession, the Golden Arches are leaving Iceland. It's a McCrisis! (And definitely a sign of the Apocalypse)

Apparently, this country's financial problems are so f***ed up that even McDonald's -- an impenetrable fortress of saturated fats and easy profits -- cannot survive in this economic climate.

Uh, does this crisis constitute a bailout? Can Iceland get its IMF money now? What more does the IMF need for chrissakes? A sugar and Coca Cola collapse?

Believe me, this comes as a shock seeing as this is a country in love with fast food (and anything sugary or smothered in mayonnaise goo) -- it is often the only type of restaurant fare available in suburbs, small villages and along the infamous Ring Road. So, if you're a tourist you'd better love burgers and hot dogs -- unless you'd rather eat "traditional" cuisine like singed sheep heads. Yummy. If you want semi-healthy (albeit expensive) food, then stick to downtown Reykjavik.

On the flip side of this whole McDonald's crisis, health food proponents and pro-isolationists are rejoicing. Me? Frankly I don't give a damn. After I suffered a harrowing experience with an Icelandic Taco Bell last year, I've sworn off any American fast food chain on this island and therefore never got around to trying McDonald's. Plus, when I first moved here in 2008 (when the ISK was still strong against the USD), I couldn't justify a six dollar investment on something that would just leave me feeling more disappointed in myself as a human being.

And seriously, I didn't even know that Iceland had more than one McDonald's location until I read all the reports in the INTERNATIONAL media. (that tells you I'm a bad American.) The scariest thing is that this is the big news item of the day. But I'm very impressed with the creativity that went into some of the headlines. My favorite headlines are as follows:

The Consumerist: "Iceland Is So Messed Up McDonald's Is Giving Up And Going Home"
Telegraph (UK): "McDonald's frozen out of Iceland"

So WHY is this beacon of Americanization leaving little Iceland? It's the economy, stupid. Apparently, McDonald's has strict standards and procedures meaning that all the food is imported from abroad. Since the Krona plummeted in value in late 2008, that means all imports have become prohibitively expensive -- in some cases doubling in price. Also, McDonald's was only located in the suburbs here -- which misses out on the brand's target demographics: ghetto, tourists, and college students. According to reports, McDonald's could only remain in business if they were to raise the price of the BigMac to 750 ISK -- or a whopping $6.36.

Iceland ranked third in the Economist's 2009 Big Mac index, a creative tool that measures purchasing-power parity, after Norwary and Switzerland. Iceland was #1 in 2007 with the cost of the Big Mac at 509 ISK or $7.44. The Economist took that to mean the Krona was 131% overvalued. All along, the Big Mac was just trying to warn us about this overheating economic boom...and now Big Mac is going away. [sniff sniff]

Goodbye Ronald McDonald, you're being repatriated.